When I say "a couple", I really do mean two!

I'm a writer of the old school. In my "English" classes we learned about sentence structure, diagramming sentences, grammar, the importance of correct spelling, the meaning of words - their real definitions - and we were constantly tested on what we were taught.

I have retained most of what I learned and the things I don't remember I look up on the internet! It's the most perplexing  phenomenon to me that, with resources immediately at hand just a few mouse clicks away, it seems as if no one uses them when writing anything on the web.

Whether it's posting to internet forums, writing a blog, facebooking or emailing, both young and old write so badly sometimes, it makes me wince. People seem to have no respect for the way they present themselves to others. What would our fifth grade teachers think?

I still believe that whether by old-fashioned card or letter, internet postings, or ordinary person to person conversation, correct usage of our beautiful language counts. English has SO many words and they're all at our disposal. We owe it to our elementary teachers, if not ourselves, to use our language properly.

The mangling of words and their meanings pains me. When did "couple" become a synonym for "a few". It's such a clear word. Couple = two. Not three, or five, or six. Not one. Two. It means two and only two. I remember ordering toppings for a sandwich at a fast food shop. When asked how many tomato slices I wanted, I replied "a couple". "So, will three or four be enough?" came the server's query. Naturally, I came back with, "I said a couple. That's two." He looked at me like I was sprouting a second head.

These days I don't even have Google's dictionary in my corner. Here's how they define "couple":

"If you refer to a couple of people or things, you mean two or approximately two of them, although the exact number is not important or you are not sure of it."

WHA-A-A-A-A-A-A-T????????

Google offers the following words as synonyms (notice that 5 of the 7 clearly indicate"two"): 

pair, brace, twosome, match, twain, dyad, two

I won't go into depth on "your" versus "you're". That's a subject which sticks in the craw for a lot of us and has been widely discussed. Given that is has gotten internet attention, you'd think that all the (usually, but increasingly, not solely) young people who spread this pernicious misuse would get a clue. I have to presume that they just don't give a ..... care.


Don't get me started on alot. Or, something being "so fun". Or "it's" used in place of "its" and vice versa. Or a million other anomalies.